


Untitled Goose Virus

by AMX004_Qubeley



Category: NieR: Automata (Video Game), Untitled Goose Game (Video Game)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-24
Updated: 2019-11-24
Packaged: 2021-02-18 07:47:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,053
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21540847
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AMX004_Qubeley/pseuds/AMX004_Qubeley
Summary: It is a lovely morning on the Bunker, and you are all going to be horrible geese.
Comments: 23
Kudos: 64





	Untitled Goose Virus

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Kiloueka](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kiloueka/gifts).



> If you're looking for someone to blame for this, blame kilo

BEGIN DATA TRANSMISSION  
ACCESSING NODE 484.56.120.12.750.001  
FROM: YORHA UNIT 6O  
TO: RESISTANCE COMMANDER ANEMONE  
CC: RESISTANCE INFORMATION ANALYSIS OFFICER JACKASS  
SUBJECT: (no subject)

* * *

LOG 3.15.11945.1

2B and 9S returned to the Bunker in their flight units this morning. While I was looking over 2B's unit, I overheard her commenting about stiffness and irritation in her chassis. It's not like 2B to complain about anything, so I figured she must be really uncomfortable. I was more than happy to recommend her a soothing oil bath. I think she actually really appreciated my advice! She almost smiled at me.

* * *

LOG 3.15.11945.2

2B sent me her report on the latest ground mission. She mentioned running afoul of some waterfowl—no, she didn't use those exact words, and when I said it like that, she made a face like someone had stuck a lemon in her mouth—but other than that, the mission seemed to go fine.

I was curious, so I asked 21O if I could look at 9S's report. He's usually very thorough, especially about some of the more minute (i.e. funnier) details that 2B tends to omit. She was pretty cagey, but relented after about a dozen "pleases."

So apparently, while running errands for the Resistance, 2B and 9S found themselves pursued by a goose! It stole things from them, it kept breaking 9S's concentration every time he had to hack something by honking at him, and it even nipped 2B's heels! I've read in old historical documents that humans feared geese above all else. If one of them can bite 2B on the ankle, then it's no wonder they were such a scourge on humanity.

* * *

LOG 3.16.11945.1

Today is _not_ my morning! When I was on my way to Ops, I slipped on something and fell flat on my butt. There were these little bits of greenish dirt littering the corridors, and apparently, I wasn't the first or the last person to slip on one. There were a lot of sore rears in the Command Center today!

Where are these things coming from? They look organic. They _smell_ organic. How did they get here?

* * *

LOG 3.16.11945.2

2B never showed up for her mission briefing with the Commander. That's really unlike her. She's never late for anything, let alone absent! I'd never seen the Commander with such an angry look on her face. And of course, as 2B's Operator, I had to see a _lot_ of that look.

* * *

LOG 3.17.11945.1

There's a goose on the Bunker. No one knows how it got up here. Maybe it snuck aboard a cargo shuttle? Or maybe someone digitized it while on Earth and then released it from virtual storage.

Either way, the Commander is _beyond_ pissed, and she wants to know where it came from and who brought it here, _now._ A lot of people were laughing when she ended up with a stain in an… unfortunate part of her outfit from slipping and falling on one of its droppings. But no one is laughing now.

* * *

LOG 3.17.11945.2

Things just keep getting weirder. Now 9S isn't reporting for duty, either. 21O has no idea where he is, much to the Commander's chagrin.

* * *

LOG 3.17.11945.3

Later this afternoon, I actually ran into the infamous goose! I was taking a walk down the habitation deck because I forgot something back in my quarters when a hairpin slipped out of my braids and fell to the floor. I bent down to pick it up, only for the feathery beast to snatch it up in its beak and run off! I must have chased that thing around the deck for ten minutes before giving up and going to my quarters to grab a spare.

When I returned to my desk, everyone was in high spirits. Apparently, 11B and 16D had pinned down the goose in the maintenance deck after it had made off with 102H's toolkit.

But that couldn't have been the same goose I saw… the habitation deck and maintenance are on opposite ends of the station…

* * *

LOG 3.17.11945.4

The Bunker is under siege! We've identified no less than three geese aboard the station. Were there always this many, or have they multiplied? How quickly do these things reproduce? Was this why humanity was so afraid of them? Are they even of this world to begin with?

* * *

LOG 3.18.11945.1

I'm so scared, I can barely breathe! I was just leaving Ops for one of my mid-afternoon strolls to stretch my legs, but as soon as the door closed behind me, one of the geese came right at me, honking like mad and flapping its horrible wings!

Luckily, 7B was right there and managed to subdue it, with some help from 4S. I'd never been so terrified in my life. I could swear my black box had fallen offline for a few seconds there!

4S got nicked by the goose, though, and it left a nasty gash on his wrist. I hadn't thought that thing's beak had looked so sharp, but all the coolant gushing from his skin told a different story altogether.

* * *

LOG 3.18.11945.2

4S has been acting weirdly ever since his run-in with the goose. I heard from his Operator that he's gotten really testy and irritable, which isn't like him at all.

The Commander ordered him to be detained, just in case the goose was somehow an organic vector for a logic virus. I heard something terrible happened to him after they brought him in.

Somehow, even though we got rid of one of the geese yesterday, our intel shows more than four of them aboard the Bunker now. Where are they coming from?

* * *

LOG 3.19.11945.1

The geese got 21O. She was afraid to offer herself up for detainment, even though the Commander's orders were clear. I stayed with her in her quarters to offer her moral support and convince her to do the right thing, but while I was there, something horrible happened.

Like 4S, she didn't seem herself. It was little things first. Complaining about feeling itchy. Interrupting me, jostling me whenever I tried to drink anything so I'd spill a bit on my lap. She even tried to snatch one of my hairpins right out of my braids! And she kept making these horrible sneezing noises…

* * *

LOG 3.19.11945.2

I left 21O's quarters for just a few minutes—honestly, I really just needed to take a break and get some "fresh" air because she was being _such_ an obnoxious prick—and couldn't believe what I saw when I came back! She was gone! There was a goose in her quarters!

It lunged at me with the razor-sharp edges of its beak glistening in the light like knives! I screamed and ran out, shutting the door behind it. What happened to 21O?

* * *

LOG 3.20.11945.1

People are disappearing. The geese are multiplying. What's going on?

* * *

LOG 3.20.11945.2

The geese are everywhere. The geese are everywhere!

* * *

LOG 3.20.11945.3

How could they cut the power? They're animals!

* * *

LOG 3.20.11945.4

We have to abandon the Bunker. It's a lost cause. The Commander gathered the few of us who were left—myself, herself, 801S, 11S, and a few other Operators—and set off for the hangar bay.

801S explained to me what was going on, since he had been the one studying the androids who were victims of the attacks.

The geese _are_ transmission vectors for a virus, but not a logic virus as we know it. _It's a virus that makes more geese._

* * *

LOG 3.20.11945.5

I can barely hear myself think with all the honking going on. It fills the air like a thick fog of sound.

We've lost the remaining Operators. They fell behind. The geese bit right through their ankles. I wanted to go back for them, but 801S dragged me along. There's nothing we can do for them now, he told me. They're lost causes.

I looked into 3O's eyes one last time. She slowly, sadly, nodded, a single tear rolling down her cheek.

* * *

LOG 3.20.11945.6

We hunkered down in a section of hallway sealed by an airlock on one end and a bulkhead on the other. There weren't many of us left—just me, the Commander, 801S, and 11S.

As geese honked outside the barrier, their beaks tapping on the bulkhead like the staccato roars of machine guns, 801S struggled to get the other door open.

It wasn't until the Commander "accidentally" unraveled my braid that I started wondering why she was sneezing so much.

My eyes traveled downward to the scattered droplets of blood oozing from a seam in one of her boots.

801S realized it just before I did—she'd been bitten.

She vehemently denied it at first—those weren't honks, she was just practicing her clown routine—but they fell on deaf ears, especially when she started sprouting feathers.

With redoubled effort, 801S worked on the door while 11S and I tried to put as much distance between ourselves and the Commander as possible in the tight quarters, even though she insisted there was nothing wrong.

At last, 801S got the door open and rushed over the threshold. With one last backward glance toward our former leader, 11S and I hurried after him, only for him to slam the door shut in our faces!

11S struggled to reopen the door, but 801S was counterhacking him. All the while, my horrified gaze was fixed on the Commander, or what had once been the Commander.

She insisted that she was in control, that she was still herself, until she was no longer able to speak.

On the other side of the airlock, 801S ran off toward the hangar. A muffled scream and a flurry of honks bled through the door only a few seconds later.

11S and I escaped through a ceiling duct, but the Commander nipped his ankle. He didn't hide it. As soon as he'd pushed me into the duct, he gave me a resigned smile and let go of me, sliding out of the dark and slipping away to rejoin his commanding officer and leaving me in the ductwork.

* * *

LOG 3.21.11945.1

I haven't left the Bunker. I can't. They've taken the hangar bay and surrounded the access terminals.

I've locked myself in Ops. I had to. It's the only place I can send this distress signal from. I have to warn everyone to stay away from the Bunker. At least until the geese die out. There's no food on the Bunker—maybe that's why they're so angry—so it shouldn't take more than a week.

Until then, I'm going to find a supply closet and power myself down. Maybe then, the geese will stop looking for me. Whoever comes back to the Bunker can reactivate me, hopefully.

This is YoRHa Unit 6 Type O, last surviving member of the YoRHa special forces, signing off.

* * *

NODE 484.56.120.12.750.001 ACCESSED  
DATA TRANSMISSION COMPLETE  
TRANSMISSION RECEIVED

* * *

LOG 3.23.11945.1 — IN PROGRESS

I crawl back into the supply closet and shut the door tightly behind me, preparing to power myself down.

Bathed in darkness, I cradle my injured leg, gritting my teeth as my fingers probe the ragged tear in my skin. My fingertips come away dotted with slick coolant.

As my systems slowly wind down, I take the time to think about the Earth. How I've always wanted to visit it. How I hope someone comes here after the danger has passed and brings me down there.

There are so many people down there I can cause problems for, I muse to myself, my lips cracking into a mischievous smile as I clamp a hand over my mouth and stifle a nasally honk.

* * *

YoRHaOS 3.1.05 CANNOT SHUT DOWN AS LONG AS INTERNALLOG.EXE IS STILL RUNNING. ABORT SHUTDOWN?

○ YES

● NO

EXIT INTERNALLOG.EXE WITHOUT SAVING?

● YES

○ NO

CURRENT LOG WILL BE DELETED. PROCEED?

● YES

○ NO

LOG 3.23.11945.1 WAS NOT SAVED. SHUTTING DOWN...

* * *


End file.
